Note: This piece is fictional and is part of our satire section, A Reflective Laugh. Many of our pieces are inspired by real-life experiences and ideas submitted by our community, using satire to explore social and environmental issues. Through humour and wit, we aim to provoke thought, spark conversation and bring awareness to the complexities of the world around us.
Financial success should be celebrated by all. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the sight of a wealthy Person of Colour seems to trigger an allergic reaction in certain folks. In an effort to uncover the mystery behind this phenomenon, I set out to interview a colourful array of individuals.
First up is a historian named Ledword Libbon, who tells me that these dated perceptions are like the powdered wigs of the 18th century.
"Well, you see," says Libbon, adjusting his imaginary monocle and puffing on an invisible pipe, "it all dates back to when wealth was directly correlated to the colour of one’s powdered wig. "Interestingly, those powdered wigs were originally used to cover bald spots caused by syphilis. Yes, syphilis! But over time, they became a symbol of wealth and status.
"So, essentially, what started as a cover-up for a rather embarrassing condition turned into the ultimate marker of affluence. And while many of us have moved on from wigs, some folks just can’t let go of their associations!"
Ah, yes. The powdered wig era. Clearly, some people still live in a world where white wigs (and only white wigs) reign supreme, completely overlooking the fact that times have changed and hair care products have vastly improved.
Next up is a cup of chamomile tea with suburban housewife, Lady Lunchalot. "I just can’t help but wonder if they’re... you know, drug dealers or something," she confesses. "I mean, how else could they afford such things? It’s not like they could be doctors, lawyers or entrepreneurs!"
Lunchalot seems to be in a thrilling crime drama where all wealthy People of Colour have underground empires. In her mind, every successful Person of Colour is a kingpin straight out of a blockbuster movie, driving around in luxury cars funded by nefarious activities. Ironically, it's the White folks who have historically—and continue to—run underground empires.
I realise that what Lunchalot is experiencing is a form of cognitive dissonance that allows her to project criminality onto others while ignoring the systemic corruption closer to her own community. For Lunchalot, the cognitive dissonance comes from wanting to see herself as a rational and fair person while holding onto irrational and biased stereotypes about successful People of Colour. She might be aware, at some level, that her stereotypes are unfounded, yet she continues to believe in them, leading to discomfort. To reduce this discomfort, she projects her biases onto others.
Feeling a little dozy after my lovely cuppa, I bid Lunchalot goodbye and zoom off in my Ferrari Portofino. My next interview is with a social media influencer I have worked very hard to track down.
"Oh, it’s fabulous when I see POC with money!" says Kerry Car-dash-it-all, a social media influencer who sports a deep brown tan and a perfect Insta-smile. "See, I know all the diversity abbreviations."
"But coming back to your question, as long as they don’t get more followers than me, of course. Their success is great for diversity... just not at my expense."
It’s all fun and hashtags until someone else’s follower count starts to soar. Clearly, success is meant to be shared... just in smaller portions.
I wrap up my interviews for the day and head home to my mansion for some reflection and a good night’s rest. As I put my mulberry silk eye mask on, I can't help but wonder... will I ever get as many likes as Car-dash-it-all?
That night, I toss and turn, unable to get the shut-eye I need for my big interview with a corporate executive the next day. That damn collagen hot chocolate with added magnesium does not do the trick.
I arrive at Preston Cashmore's office, exhausted, and am offered some coffee from a gold-plated French press. The office, decked out with portraits of Cashmore shaking hands with every US president, feels like a shrine to privilege. Sipping his imported coffee, he says, "I think it’s because it disrupts the natural order of the universe. You see, wealth should flow through the right channels, like my old boys' network from Yale. It’s all about maintaining equilibrium!"
Equilibrium, indeed. Nothing is more balanced than an exclusive club of well-connected individuals ensuring the wealth remains safely within their circle, where it belongs.
For people like Preston Cashmore, entrenched privilege manifests as a belief in the natural order of wealth and power, often justified by their upbringing, education and social networks. This privilege allows them to maintain their dominant position in society while dismissing or ignoring the struggles and systemic barriers faced by others.
Entrenched privilege is reinforced by societal structures, such as exclusive educational institutions, social clubs and professional networks that limit access to outsiders, thus preserving the status quo. People benefiting from this privilege often see it as a deserved outcome of their "merit" or "hard work," rather than a product of systemic inequality. This belief system becomes so ingrained that they may genuinely believe that the existing social order is fair and that any disruption to it is unnatural or unjust.
My final interview is with a regular Joe who doesn't even have a name—because he's just that regular. Who better to ground us than a man who considers a successful weekend one where he doesn’t lose his keys or his sanity? Regular Joe is the kind of guy who can misplace his wallet, his phone and his car all in one afternoon, yet still be trusted to hold your place in line. After all, regular Joe is the everyman, the guy you'd bet on to be the least wrong, dishonest or racist. He's the voice of the people—assuming the people remembered where they put their voice.
"I mean, good for them, I guess," says regular Joe, scratching his head. "But deep down, doesn’t it feel like they’re trying to one-up us? Like, ‘Look at me, I overcame systemic barriers and succeeded anyway!’ It’s just showing off."
Dear me, how right he is, overcoming systemic barriers is clearly the ultimate form of boasting.
Through these enlightening interviews, the absurdity and underlying prejudices fuelling the discomfort some White people feel towards the financial success of People of Colour becomes glaringly apparent. It seems the problem isn’t with wealthy People of Colour at all. Instead, it lies within the long-gone, irrational beliefs that some folks just can’t seem to shake off.
As I wrap up, I leave you with a final thought: perhaps if wealth were truly colourblind, we’d all be seeing green. Or better yet, we’d be too busy planning our next yacht party to care.
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